Wednesday, November 6, 2013

An attempt at getting on track

Today is Wednesday, and it is by far my worst day of the week.  The house is a terrible mess now that we've had daycare here for 2 full days.  On top of that, Cosmo has juggling club on Wednesday nights, I've had grief meetings on Wednesday nights, Awesome has had cross country on Wednesday nights, and I've been plowing through college and scholarship application paperwork trying to meet the November 4 deadline.  This means that dishes go undone, and dinner and bedtime are phenomenally late, not to mention that the household feels like it's in a constant state of chaos.  Did I mention I've caught a cold?

This week though, cross country is over and juggling is cancelled.  Monday was November 4, so that paperwork is finished (though the mountains of paper to organize remain).  This is also my final grief meeting (I think).  I can see a light, or something...

This morning I've got a big pot of chili simmering on the stove and pork in the crock pot.  Dinner should be taken care of now for the next 5-6 days, depending on how hungry we are (TEENAGERS).  The babies don't seems to be fussy yet, which is a first for the week.  Maybe I'll be able to get Amazing back on track with her school work today.  I'm feeling almost hopeful.

Now to find a memorial item before the meeting tonight.  I need something to bring that means something to me in relationship to my father.  I have no idea what that should be.  I'm thinking maybe it should be pumpkin pie.  If only there were more time in the day and some pumpkin in the house...

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Another day with my muse gone

I've neglected this blog horribly.  I've gone from writing most days to not writing at all and I'm trying to understand why that is.  I've been busy, of course, but that's nothing new.  Reading a post from my brother the other day made me realize exactly what's going on. 

My creative spark seems to have gone out.  I've not crafted with my kids or the daycare kids.  I've not created anything special on my own.  I've not written anything that wasn't a to-do list.  I've not baked cookies that were for my family for fun.  You see, my father passed away in April.  It's been a little over six months ago now.  For months I was numb.  In the last month I've begun to allow myself time to grieve.  I've started going to grief meetings, as well as a grief support group.  I'm trying to figure out what to do with this new, fatherless existence. 

There are so many things that I need to consult with him about.  For some ridiculous reason, I never anticipated his death.  So, when I need to ask him a question, I'm angry.  I'm lost.  I'm confused.  One of the last things we talked about before he died though, and he spent a couple of months working on dying, was that his family is strong enough.  We can do this.  We can handle life without him.  We'd be OK.  And, I suppose we are handling things.  We are doing what is required of us.  We are walking forward with our grief.  It's not easy though.

I don't think he'd be disappointed in us, but I think maybe he'd smile and say, "That's ok.  Sometimes you've just got to get by, but you know what Ner?  You should write again."  I think he would.

So, even though I've already missed the first 4 days of November, my goal today, November 5, is to write every day for the remainder of this month.  Maybe then I'll re-find my muse. 

Help me out a little, Dad? 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Homeschooling 2013

So this is week 3 and we aren't even a day behind yet!  We aren't a day ahead either, but why rush?  We've set up a new policy this year, due to the rough year we had last year.  Granted, a lot of things happened that were beyond our control.  We had a couple of deaths in the family, financial hardships and lots of just plain drama.  This year is a fresh start.  I'm simultaneously glad it's here and cautious about what it may bring.  This year, after all, comes with a new policy... you don't finish your work by Friday, then you, homeschooler, have homework.

So far, it's working out well for me.  Last Saturday they had homework.  It wasn't their fault.  We had a crazy, long, sweaty, unpredictable day out of the house on Friday that was only partly choice.  A field trip to a park, followed by a quick run to the high school, all in 100 degree temps in a van whose air conditioner AND fan had decided to quit.  All of the driving around left us hot and exhausted. The two one year olds and the 8 month old were in complete agreement, and they were happy to vocalize it.  Nobody enjoys sweaty, cranky babies, least of all the babies themselves.  It was a day.  We accomplished nothing related to school work. 

Then Saturday came. The kids got up early and dove right in.  I didn't have to say a word!  It was, if I do say so myself, magical.  So here we are, Wednesday after the holiday and my kiddo's are still on task!  Not a single subject was left undone.  I am optimistic for this new school year.

Have you implemented any new policies in your homeschool this year?  Here's to hoping yours is going well too! 

Blog Do-Over

After much careful thought and consideration I have decided that I will in fact begin publishing again.  This time however I will choose my photo's more carefully.  In addition, I'll be working on putting some of my old posts back up, but with modifications.  Thanks for your patience!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


I can't even believe what kind of hits this blog has been getting.  In the interest of myself and my family I have removed all posts and no longer feel secure in posting about our lives here.  I am sickened and disgusted by what I've seen.